Hey, everyone! Welcome back to Mythical Masala with Neev—the podcast that’s spicier than a plate of pani puri! I’m your host, Neev, your favorite Californian tween storyteller, bringing you epic Indian myths in the coolest way possible. Guess what, myth lovers? Today is not your regular episode—we've wrapped up the epic saga of Ramayana, and it’s time to celebrate with something extra special. Welcome to the first-ever Mythical Masala Awards!

Cohost: Yes! It’s like the Oscars, but with more monkeys, fewer tuxedos, and no long acceptance speeches.

Neev:
Exactly! We’re handing out awards to our favorite characters—heroes, villains, and everyone in between. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to cheer!

Neev: Before we start, we have summoned a very special guest to kick things off! 

Cohost: Folks, This magic wasn’t easy. Do you know how expensive celestial summoning spells are? 

Neev:
 Totally worth it! Welcome the one and only Ganesha, the elephant-headed god of wisdom and good fortune!

Ganesha:
 Hello, Neev! Glad to be here. Although getting through the studio door was a tight squeeze.

Neev:
 Oh, sorry about that. So Ganesha, tell us—what's it really like being the remover of obstacles?

Ganesha:
 Well, honestly, it's a 24/7 job. People constantly asking me to clear traffic jams, find missing homework, remove broccoli from their dinners...

Neev:
 Wait, you can remove broccoli too? Can I sign up?

Ganesha: Nice try, Neev. But healthy eating is one obstacle you'll have to handle yourself.

Neev:
 Worth a shot. Any advice for our listeners?

Ganesha: Always start new adventures by chanting my name. And maybe carry extra snacks—trust me, it helps.

Neev:
 Solid advice, as always. Thanks, Ganesha! So with Ganesha’s blessings, let’s begin our awards! 

Cohost: May the best man, woman, animal, rakshasa…you known what i mean…win!

Neev:
Our first category is “Best Hero.” And the nominees are... (dramatic pause) Rama, the righteous prince; Hanuman, the superpowered monkey; and Krishna, the charming protector of Vrindavan!

Cohost:
 Wow, Rama’s got royal charm, Hanuman's got epic strength, and Krishna—he's the superhero who'll steal your butter and your heart!

Neev:
True! But the winner, by popular vote—and because everyone secretly wants a friend who can literally move mountains—is... Hanuman!

Cohost: Guess who’s joining us! Let’s go backstage to have a quick word with our winner - Hanuman!

Neev:

 Hanumanji! Congratulations! You’ve just won “Best Hero.” How do you feel?

Hanuman:
 Oh, you know, Neev—on top of the world! Literally, I'm sitting on top of a mountain right now.

Neev:
Haha! Classic! First things first, how exactly do you manage that whole growing-as-big-as-a-mountain and shrinking-as-small-as-a-fly thing?

 Hanuman:
 Practice, Neev! Lots and lots of yoga, and maybe eating a few magic bananas along the way. You gotta stay flexible.

Neev:
 Magic bananas? Where can I find those?

Hanuman:
 Trust me, you humans can't handle them. I once shared one with Lakshmana—he slept for two weeks straight. Lord Rama wasn't too happy.

Neev:
 Okay, another question: Neev: Hanumanji, what's tougher: lifting mountains or fighting demons?

Hanuman: Honestly, dealing with Sugreeva when he hasn't had his bananas is hardest. (laughs)

Neev:
Next up, "Best Villain." Nominees: Ravana, the ten-headed king with serious anger issues; Shurpanakha, whose nose started an entire war; and Indrajit, the sneaky demon prince.

Cohost:
Kinda hope Shurpanakha doesn't crash the stage if she loses...

Neev:
Good point! But the award goes to Ravana! Let's be honest, ten heads and a flying chariot? That’s award-worthy villainy.

Cohost: And accepting the award is none other than Ravana! Or is it his ghost?

Neev:
Either way, let’s have a quick chat. Welcome Ravana, the legendary ten-headed villain!

Ravana:
 Ahem, villain is such a strong word! I'd prefer "Misunderstood Genius," thank you.

Neev:
 Right, misunderstood genius who kidnapped Seeta. Let's talk logistics—how do you manage daily activities with ten heads? Brushing teeth must be a nightmare!

Ravana: Oh, you have no idea. Mornings take forever! And have you tried arguing with yourself nine times over about breakfast? “Toast!” “No, dosa!” “Pancakes!” By the time we decide, it's lunchtime.

Neev:
 Sounds exhausting. Is that why you were always grumpy?

Ravana:
 Grumpy? I'd prefer dramatically intense. It's all part of my charm.

Neev
 Okay, Misunderstood Genius, any regrets?

Ravana:
 Maybe don't kidnap princesses. It never ends well. Trust me.

Next up, we have “Best Supporting Character.” Our nominees are Jatayu, the heroic bird who bravely took on Ravana; Lakshmana, the super-loyal brother always by Rama's side; and Vibhishana, Ravana’s good-hearted brother.

Cohost:
 All worthy contenders! Jatayu gave Ravana the ultimate pecking, Vibhishana chose morals over family, and Lakshmana—he spent 14 years in exile just to support his brother! Now, that's some serious brotherly love.

Neev:
 Absolutely! And the winner is... Lakshmana, the brother of the millennium!

Cohost:
 Well-deserved! Honestly, Lakshmana should win just for surviving Rama’s endless adventures without taking a single vacation day.

Neev:
 True that! Someone get Lakshmana a spa day—he’s definitely earned it.

Neev: Next category: Best Prankster! The nominees are Hanuman—the mountain lifter, Krishna—the butter thief, and Saraswati—as mischievous Vikatan Saraswati.

Cohost: Drumroll please! And the winner is...Krishna, the eternal mischief-maker!

Neev: Congratulations, Krishna! Would you like to say something?

Krishna: I'd like to thank all the butter jars I raided...and apologize to Yashoda Maiya. You know I love you.

Neev: Next category: Coolest Avatar! The nominees are: Varaha, the planet-saving boar; Narasimha, the fierce lion-man; and Vamana, the dwarf who tricked a demon king.

Cohost: And the award goes to...Varaha—the mighty cosmic boar!

Neev: Tusk-tastic! He did lift the entire earth with his snout—that deserves some recognition!

Cohost: Hope we have a trophy big enough for a boar that size.

Neev:
 Time for our sneakiest category: “Most Cunning Character!” Nominees known for their clever plotting are:

• Manthara, the maid who whispered the kingdom into chaos.
• Kaikeyi, whose cunning moves changed Ayodhya’s destiny overnight.
• Indrajeet, who tricked Lakshmana in battle using magical illusions.

Cohost:
 If these characters ever teamed up, they'd probably take over the podcast!

Neev
 And the winner is… Manthara! Without her scheming, there wouldn’t even be a Ramayana!

Cohost:
 Yep, one whisper from Manthara, and an entire kingdom went bananas!

Neev:
 Time for the “Smartest Character” award! Our genius-level nominees are:

• Saraswati, the goddess who literally invented wisdom and creativity.
• Vibhishana, the wise brother who knew exactly when to switch sides.
• Hanuman, whose quick-thinking saved the day more than once.

Cohost:
 Tough call! Saraswati’s literally wisdom personified, Hanuman’s intelligence is off-the-charts, and Vibhishana pulled the smartest family drama move ever!

Neev:
 Exactly! But the winner is… Saraswati! Because you just can't beat the original Goddess of Knowledge herself.

Cohost:
 Fair enough! Nobody beats Saraswati in a trivia contest—that’s for sure!

Neev:
 Time for “Coolest Magical Weapon.” The nominees are: Shiva’s powerful trident (Trishul), Vishnu’s spinning discus (Sudarshan Chakra), and Rama’s unbeatable bow.

Cohost:
 Can I order one online? I’m asking for a friend.

Neev:
 Good luck with that! And the winner is… Vishnu’s spinning discus, the Sudarshan Chakra!

Cohost:
 Frisbee meets boomerang meets divine laser beam. What’s not to love?

Neev:
 Exactly—evil doesn’t stand a chance!

Alright, everyone, time for the award for "Most Unusual Birth!" Our nominees are:

• Sita, who was literally plowed up from the Earth itself!
• Ganesha, sculpted from clay by his mother, Parvati!
• And Balarama, Krishna’s brother, who was magically transferred to another mother's womb!

Cohost:
 Wow, these are some next-level birth stories. Talk about special delivery!

Neev:
 Definitely beats your standard hospital visit! Alright, and the winner is… drumroll, please… Balarama, the original miracle baby who got womb-swapped!

Cohost:
 Congrats to Balarama! Imagine telling people, "Yeah, I switched wombs before I was even born. No big deal."

Neev:
 Right? Talk about an impressive entrance into the world!

Neev:
 Our next award is “Best Divine Vehicle or Vahana.” Nominees include Shiva’s Nandi (bull), Vishnu’s Garuda (giant eagle), and Durga’s ferocious lion.

Cohost:
 These rides are cooler than a Lamborghini!

Neev:
 Totally! And the winner is… Vishnu’s mighty Garuda, the King of Birds!

Cohost:
 Fast, fierce, and zero traffic jams—Garuda Airlines, anyone?

Neev:
 No boarding pass needed—just hold on tight!

Neev:
And now award for, “Most Dramatic Moment.” Nominees are Sita's abduction; Rama's exile; and Seeta’s ultimate sacrifice—going back to Mother Earth.

Cohost:
Honestly, Rama’s family drama could beat any reality show.

Neev:
No kidding! And the winner is... Seeta's powerful sacrifice, returning to Mother Earth.

Cohost:
Talk about an exit! Dramatic, divine, and a total tearjerker.

Neev:
Couldn't agree more.

Neev:
And now, the final category—Audience Favorite Moment. And the clear winner is Hanuman setting Lanka on fire!

Cohost:
Because who doesn’t love a monkey pyrotechnics expert?

Neev:
Seriously, though, Hanuman really lit things up! 

Cohost:
Quite literally! 

Neev: If we were a video podcast - there would be a lot of fiery special effects! 

Cohost:
Definitely! Talking about the audience - We have a very special award! 

Neev: That’s right - Last but definitely not the least - Our special award is Best Audience!

Cohost: Yup - Best Audience - we want to give a shout out to these folks for being dedicated listeners of the show!

Neev: Without further ado…Best Audience goes to….our listeners in the city of Westford, Massachusetts - Our secret sources tell us that we have quite a few listeners in this beautiful little town of rolling hills, lakes, and apple orchards. 

Cohost: Congratulations! Westford listeners - we would love to hear from you, and maybe even feature you on our show. Send us a message or drop us a voice note by going to any episode on mythicalmasalapodcast,com, and clicking the link on top.

Neev: Thank you to these listeners, and all of our listeners around the world, from California, to Poland and Australia. 

Cohost: Yes! You all continue to motivate us to share these myths and legends.

Neev:
And that's a wrap on our very first Mythical Masala Awards! Thanks for joining our celebration. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did!

Cohost:
 And remember, no Brahmans or villagers were harmed in the making of this episode.

Neev:
 That's right! And don't forget, our next season kicks off with another epic tale—the Mahabharata. It's full of drama, epic battles, and even more masala!

Cohost:
 Better stock up on popcorn, because The Mahabharata is even wilder!

Neev:
That’s right!  Stay curious, stay mythical, and don't annoy any gods in the meantime.

Cohost:
Seriously, you don’t want Durvasa knocking at your door.

Neev:  See you next season on another adventure with Mythical Masala! Don’t forget to share, subscribe, and leave a review. Send us a message and get featured in a future episode!